I’ve always felt a connection to the Divine Feminine. And yet, I’ve felt a distinct disconnect at the same time. What was that about?
Let’s start with asking, what, exactly is the Divine Feminine, and how do we connect to her? First of all, it is not a girls-only thing. Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy within themselves. In yogic terms, the Divine Masculine is Shiva and the Divine Feminine is Shakti. We all need a balance of both. But, life circumstances can skew that balance. I was skewed to the masculine for years. I kind of had to be. I needed that strength for survival, for a long time.
I was married to a man with serious addiction problems and we had a small child. Needed to be strong. We had major financial struggles. Needed to be strong. We got divorced. Needed to be strong.
My jaw was clenched, I was shielding my heart, I was angry. How could I have any connection to the Divine Feminine, the energy of softness, yielding, creativity and nurturing, when I was in survival mode?
Then I started studying the Goddesses of the Hindu pantheon. I learned about Kali, the destroyer. The strongest and scariest of the Goddesses, she gives us the strength and courage to destroy that which is not serving our highest, and also brings us to the edge of birthing our next phase, our next dream. I began to invoke her, to help me break through the hardest times. To have the courage to end my marriage and yet to still mourn that loss fully. I realized that with every death (or ending) there is a rebirth and that I didn’t have to reject feminine energy, in order to be strong. I learned about Durga, another powerful, yet beautifully feminine Goddess. I probably connect most strongly with Durga. She’s fiercely protective and fights for what is right, even when it is hard. She picks up where Kali leaves off. She is the force behind our inner revolution. She is generous and kind, yet also puts up with no bullshit, from ourselves and others. She gets us to pick up our swords (metaphorically) and step into our highest power.
As my life began to settle, I began to connect with Lakshmi, the Goddess of abundance and Lalita, the Goddess of sensuality and pleasure. I began to practice radical self-care, got back to my yoga and meditation practices, taking care of my financial life, feeding myself and my daughter healthy and delicious food. Exercising. My joy of cooking returned, my joy of life returned. I reconnected to my love of music. Started singing in my car and dancing in my kitchen. And laughing. Laughing with my daughter until we cry.
And slowly, I started to feel my connection to the Divine Feminine return. Today I feel more connected to her than I ever have.
Here are a few ways you can reconnect to your Divine Feminine:
- Know that she is available to you, no matter what your religious/spiritual beliefs. She is an archetype and is in no way trying to displace or replace any other image of God.
- Get outside – Mother Nature is in nature. Spend time outside, no matter the weather. And really connect. Smell and feel the air. Notice the trees, the leaves, the snowflakes, the bugs, whatever is going on outside.
- Sing and dance. Often. Even if it mortifies your teenager! Listen to music you love at the volume you love. Whether it’s quiet classical or loud rock, make music part of your life.
- Practice radical self-care. Eat food that makes you feel vibrant. Exercise for the joy of it. Sleep more, stress less. Get out of shitty relationships/jobs/situations.
- Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful.
- Connect with and honor the cycles of the moon and the seasons.
If you would like to learn more about the archetypes of the Goddesses of Yoga, I highly recommend Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti.